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Cheap Candy Everybody Wants

April 6, 2010 3 comments

Cheap Candy Day is a very special day for me. One of the coolest things about it is that it comes more than once a year. Each has its own special attraction — February 15 is best for buying boxes of assorted chocolates, November 1 wins for bags of fun-size Snickers — but my favorite is the day after Easter.

Now, I love me some chocolate bunny, especially when I can get a solid one at hollow prices. And pastel-speckled malted milk eggs taste exactly the same as the regular malted milk balls but cost a lot less. But that’s not what gets my lazy ass down to the CVS every sugar-coma Monday — I go for the half-priced Russell Stover Cream Eggs.

First of all, if you follow the link in the picture above, you can see that they’re sold out (unless you’re reading this around some post-2010 Easter). Right there that tells you these babies are special. Unlike Peeps which are now marketed year round and so can be had on the other Cheap Candy Days. And look: the label says cream, setting Russell’s eggs a notch above less prestigious products such as Hershey’s Cookies and Creme, Dove Chocolate Cremes and Creme Savers — whose unfortunate name sounds more like hand lotion than confection.

Cheap Candy Day often hangs around for several days, gradually shrinking in shelf space until the remaining stock fits into one of those wire bins like the one they use for the remaindered videos at Best Buy that all seem to be House Party 3. But I like to get there on the first day so I can be sure to find my favorite — the strawberry cream. In a milk chocolate shell, which I know is like the Colt 45 of chocolate but I see no reason to put on airs when it comes to defending my addiction. Anyway, I do like dark chocolate, but only when mixed with either raspberry (as in the Raspberry Whip eggs, or my all-time favorite candy, Joyva Jell Rings) or coconut.

But this is not just about inexpensive esurience. Reading the wrapper started me on a home-school chemistry lesson, starting with the invertase that they use to break down the sucrose into glucose and the sweeter fructose which also has the quality of being less prone to crystallize, giving these candies their smooth and creamy texture. From there I started reading about the different versions of High Fructose Corn Syrup but before I could finish I started nodding off.

No matter, chocolate goes great with coffee.

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